“Wanna hear a good joke?” Mikey asked.
“Not really,
Mike,” she said, trying to sound as disinterested as she could. Why did she answer the door?
“It’s Mikey,
please,” he said. “Mike sounds so, you know, grown up and
conservative.
He was 35
years old and worked in his father’s ACE Hardware store. Her
ring tone for him was the jingle from the TV commercial. Ace
is the place with the helpful hardware folks.
“OK, uh,
Mikey, but….”
“No, really,”
Mikey interrupted. “You look like you could use a laugh today, couldn’t
you?”
“Mikey, to be
honest, I’m in the middle of cooking, and….”
“You’ll love
it.”
They were
standing in her apartment doorway, and she could sense her
bechamel was going to turn into burntchamel.
“So, there’s
this guy,” Mikey began, following behind her into the kitchen.
“And he climbs this mountain to talk to God himself, or herself,
or whatever. The joke works just as well either way.”
“Really,
Mike….”
“Eh-eh-eh,”
he cautioned her with his finger raised.
“Really,
Mikey. I need to pay attention to….” “Do you think there’s a nonbinary God?” he interrupted,
again.
“What? Is
that part of the joke?”
She put her spoon in the rest and began working her way toward
her door, Mikey walking backwards in front of her.
“No. I was
just saying it could have been a man God or a woman God. But
what about a nonbinary God?”
“Yes. I think
whatever God there might be is whatever you believe it to be.”
Mikey stopped
walking backwards and considered this.
“Listen,
Mike? I really need to get back to my bechamel.”
“Eh-eh-eh.”
He held his finger up again She wanted to bite it off.
He began
again.
“Guy climbs
mountain wanting wisdom from a God that is whatever or whoever
you believe in, and he asks him, ‘What’s a million years to
you?’ and God says, ‘A minute.’”
“I’ve heard
it before,” she said, opening the front door. “Good one.”
“And then the
guy says to God, ‘Then what’s a million dollars to you?’ and God
says, ‘A penny.’”
“Listen,
Mike….”
“And so then
the guy says, he says to God, ‘Well, in that case, can I have a
penny?’ And you know what God says to him?”
“Yes, I do.”
she said leaning into the doorway and edging Mikey out. “I’ve
heard this joke before” “So, God says to the guy, ‘Sure. I’ll give you a penny…in
a minute.’”
She stared at
him, stone-faced.
“Get it? Do
you get it?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“And I’ve got
another one.”
She started
to close the door.
“Just one
more, OK?” He’s almost pleading now, but at least he’s in the
hallway.
“Let me keep
my bechamel from burning, and I’ll come down for you to tell
me.”
“When?” he
asks through the crack in the door.
“In a couple
minutes.”
“Great. I’ll
be waiting.”
