“You like fresh tomatoes, don’t you?”

            “Well…yeah…sure. I guess.”

            “Good. Because I picked these right before you got here.”

            “Oh, I didn’t know you were into gardening.”
            “You’ll know after tonight. That’s for sure.”

            “Oh, really. Why’s that?”

            “I’m making my world-famous tomato pie. You’re going to love it. You love fresh tomatoes, right? I mean, who doesn’t love tomatoes?”

            “Oh…you know…I like them. I do. They’re just not…you know…my favorite vegetable. Others…you know…easier on my stomach.”

            “You’re wrong, you know.”

            “About what?”

            “Tomatoes aren’t vegetables, technically. They’re fruit.”

            “Oh, I didn’t know that.”

            “Everybody says they’re vegetables. I mean, think of V-8 juice, right? Am I right?”

            “Yeah…sure…I guess.”

            “But they’re fruit. Know how I know?”

            “Read it someplace?”

            “Yeah, sure. But fruits come from the flower of a plant and contain seeds. While vegetables have roots and stems and leaves and things.”

            “Tomatoes don’t have roots and seeds?”

            “Sure, they do, silly.”

            “And stems and leaves?”

            “Yeah, sure. But they come from the flower, right? You’ve seen that at least, even if you aren’t into gardening, like me. Come from a long line of gardeners.”

            “You do?”

            “Sure. Like this world-famous tomato pie I’m making for you. Got the recipe from my mom, who made it almost every week in season. My father loved it but could only have small portions, you know? Acid reflex, or GERD, or something like that.”

            “Well, tomatoes are a bit acidic. Get to me from time to time, especially with more, I don’t know, tomatoey dishes, like certain kinds of salsa and things like that. I once was at a dinner party where they served gazpacho, and my stomach was so upset I spent….”

            “You like gazpacho? I knew we were going to be friends. I just knew it. You haven’t lived until you’ve tasted my gazpacho. Mountains of tomatoes, of course, and a shitload of fresh garlic, I use red onions, too, three or four at least. Adds extra zinginess. And my secret ingredients?”

            “I wouldn’t know.”

            “Guess?”

            “Turmeric. Everyone seems to be big into turmeric these days.”

            “Oh, hell no. Green chile. Hatch. Hot as I can get. And squeeze four extra-ripe limes.”

            “Well, I don’t know. My stomach and all.”

            “Won’t even know it’s there, until you know it’s there.”

            “Yeah…well…you know, I guess you might say I have a tender, you know, stomach, and all. And, well….”

            “Is that your phone ringing? Don’t be long. My world-famous tomato pie is just about done, and you don’t want it to get cold.”

            “Sorry about that.”

            “That didn’t take too long.”

            “Yeah…well…I’m sorry, but I have to leave. Something at work’s…uh…come up, and…uh…we’ll have to call the whole thing off…. You know.”

            “Really? No way around it?”

            “Yeah…well…. Another time, maybe.”

            “Here. Let me cut off a good-sized slice for you to take with you. You’ll let me know how much you love it, won’t you?”